Round 2 Day 1

I just checked into the hospital to begin my second round of chemotherapy treatment.  I feel really hopeful today, excited to be moving forward with this process.  The past week at home has actually been pretty challenging.  I've been playing with the medications I'm on, experimenting with what works and what doesn't.  At this point I've determined that the fewer meds I take the better I feel.  Which is pretty interesting to me, but also a relief.  When I was in the hospital the first time I had a nurse who wondered if all the anti-nausea meds I was taking were actually making it worse for me, and I think she may have been right after all.  I have definitely experienced adverse effects from pain medication, and sedation in general has blocked me up like a cork in the ass.  And the other night after I'd been off anti-nausea meds for 24 hours and tried taking them again I started throwing up like I hadn't in days.  So I'm done.  It'll be interesting to see how my doctors react to me not wanting any medication.  But hey, it's my body right, only I can tell what's working and what isn't.  Different nurse taught me that one.

So the adventure continues, and an adventure it surely is.  Each day contains so many unknowns, and so many challenges.  But if there's one thing I've embraced in my life it's adventure.  After all I'm a rock climber in my heart.  One who explores and loves wild unknown places, and danger, and risk.  So, high dose Methotrexate, and whatever else they're throwing at me this week.  Bring it on.  The cancer inside me needs a kick in the ass.  And this will do the trick.  And I'm ready to take on whatever comes along with it.  I know it's going to be hard, and I know I'm going to feel worse than I do now.  But after what I've already been through it's just another mile, just another stretch of flat water under the bow.  You pull through it and the place you end up is always worth the effort.

Thanks to all of you for following my journey and for reading my writing.  It helps to know I'm not alone.  Keep you posted!