Wellness

I've been reading this book, Cancer: 50 Essential Things To Do, written by a guy who was diagnosed with stage VI lung cancer and given a month to live back in 1984.  The story is that he ended up surviving his diagnosis, and was inspired to learn from other cancer survivors.  What do people do, how do they approach their situation that makes the difference between life and death?  The book is great.  It's encouraging and informative.  It includes a bunch of stories about people who have overcome cancer and are thriving in their lives.  It's uplifting.  And that is really the point of the book.  To uplift.

In terms of my physical lifestyle, before I was diagnosed with cancer I lived an extremely healthy life.  I ate a ridiculously clean diet, free of sugar, wheat, dairy, and processed foods in general.  I didn't drink or do any drugs, I got adequate sleep, I didn't even go out late.  The problem was, I didn't have any fun either.  I was so fixated on being 'healthy' that I completely missed really being healthy.  What I mean by that, and what this book suggests, is that there is far more to one's health than the physical well-being of our bodies.  Or, rather, that physical health is closely related to mental and emotional health.  This is something that most of us understand instinctively.  We can relate to the idea that when we feel good about ourselves we feel better physically.  And it's something I've talked about quite a bit around this experience of having cancer.

What I've found, in enduring the physical challenges of chemotherapy treatment, is that the psychological challenges I face are actually greater than the physical ones.  I may feel like crap on a daily basis, be sick to my stomach, or completely exhausted, or even be anemic or have some kind of infection, but the main thing that determines my overall experience is my emotional state.  It's a matter of perspective.  One person may interpret an experience one way, and feel bad about it, and another person may take the same circumstances and find joy or hope or some kind of fulfillment.

I think this is something, as I've said, that most of us understand.  The problem is that it's difficult to put into practice the art of interpreting what's happening in a positive way.  The reason I'm so interested in this subject, is that through my experience in developing and fighting cancer I believe that the psychological component(s) of my health have been just as influential as the physical ones.  To put it simply, when I got cancer I had never been more physically healthy (in theory), and I had never been so emotionally unwell.  Does that mean that my emotional state 'caused' me to get cancer?  Who knows.  I don't believe there is one single factor at fault.  And I'm not sure that it matters in the end exactly what caused the cancer.  It happened, and I have it.  But what does matter is that I learn from what I'm going through, and that I use the experience to help me live my life in a more effective way.

The point of this book is to understand that surviving cancer is about creating wellness, which is about taking responsibility for one's health in all areas.  The idea that I have significant influence over my wellbeing, through the things I do, think, and feel, is empowering.  It gives me a goal to move toward, and the author provides some ideas for ways to achieve that goal.  The book has been helpful, and encouraging.  But most important it's served as a reminder that I'm not a victim, nor am I a passive bystander just along for a ride.  I may not be in control of what happens, but I am in control of how I feel about it, and how I think about it.  And that may be the most important factor in my health overall.

Today I think there is hope for me.  That thought makes me feel good about my situation and about myself.  It helps me to let go of the anxiety that I feel about my physical health.  It helps me to feel the love and support that is there all the time, from myself and from the world around me.  That's a beautiful feeling.  The world isn't out to get me, it wants me to succeed.  I'm not sure if that's literally true, but that's how it feels.  And that feels pretty darn good.